The Hierarch was walking around the city, heading to the cafe where he and Vish had agreed to meet. The blogger was in no hurry. It was mid-August, the weather was good. And a lot of interesting artists appeared on blogs who opened their exhibitions right on the streets. Here is Mauz, drawing graphics right on the walls, here is Andrey Polukeev with pencil drawings, Ditrin, painting the Sons of Anarchy right on the sidewalk… and many others. The shooter with fifteen-minute requests was also very popular.
But even without rushing, he got there quite quickly. Several people were sitting at a medium-sized square table, right on the street. Vish, who called the Hierarch, sat next to Indest, helping him in every possible way to complete “Dragon Commander,” which the latter was playing on his laptop. Also sitting at the table was Linux, diligently eating pizza. The hierarch sat down at the table, ordered tea and leaned back in his chair.
– So you decided something??
Indest closed the laptop and took a sip of water. He hated tea.
– Yes. In a couple of days we will have time to prepare everything, all that remains is to discuss the little things. Like how we’ll sneak weapons in there in case something happens, as well as a backup plan.
Linux looked up from the pizza and looked questioningly at Indest.
— Backup plan? You didn’t say anything about a backup plan.
Vish drummed his fingers on the table.
– Of course, I will help you get to the right floor, in less crowded places, as quickly as possible and stuff like that. Fortunately, I already got the drawings of the building and the 3D model, all I have to do is download it to the PC in that apartment. I will also take care of the recordings from the cameras, but there is one catch. If suddenly someone notices you breaking into a safe, then..
— Bots with guns will come after us. There is no doubt about it, Indest continued.
– Yes, thank you, Ind. So, that’s why we need to think about how to get weapons there, think through possible escape routes and cover during retreat.
Linux chuckled.
– Well, I already agreed with Messi. He will pick us up. I also showed a photo of our “client”. Just in case, fireman.
– And about weapons and help in case it gets hot, I agreed with Piro. We already got a janitor’s uniform for him. – Indest giggled. – He will be able to carry weapons, but remember, nothing “heavy”, and don’t go too far. We can’t get anything special with you, and you understand this perfectly well. And as for the retreat – he will start a fire on one of the floors, thereby arranging the evacuation of workers and other individuals whom we do not need to shoot at.
– Ha, how were you able to persuade him to dress up as a janitor?? How? – Linux laughed, imagining all the possible options in his head.
– Well… I gave him several rarocks in Dotan, and promised to remain silent for 3 days in a row when playing with him.
The hierarch could barely restrain his smile – Indest became embarrassed and lowered his gaze.
– In my opinion, it’s a very good deal.
“Oh shut up,” Indest took a few more sips of water. – In general, everything should work out in any case.
– Why did you even decide to go there?? My hands are itching, I want to play spies?
It was Flutter who quietly approached the table and sat down next to Linux. Taking a piece of pizza, he looked questioningly at Vish. He called him.
Vish sighed and was about to start talking, but Linux, wiping his hands with a napkin, began to explain first.
— Flat, tell me which of us likes streaming?? Almost no one. Well, I mean, all sorts of “shkololo” streams and the like. We want to stop them at least for a week.
“There’s a twink working in that high-rise building, Flat,” Indest continued. “In his office, in a safe, information about venues and dates is stored.”. And we need this information.
Flat yawned.
– Whose twink is this??
“The devil knows,” said the Hierarch, stirring the tea, “And it doesn’t matter.”.
– How does it matter?? What if..
Linux groaned, interrupting Flutter.
– That’s enough, eh? Better think about what you’ll take with you. We should all think about this.
Vish shook his finger at Linux.
– No weapons. Piro will carry everything.
– And I didn’t intend to.
___________
– Well, where is casinosnotongamcare.co.uk he..
Indest looked impatiently, first in one direction of the corridor, then in the other. Flutter, holding his mask in his hands, leaned against the wall and chuckled.
– Yes, calm down. He’s only late by… by..
– For 14 minutes and 26 seconds! – Indest exclaimed almost in panic and immediately fell silent, remembering where they were.
Linux, tired of holding his bag on his shoulder, lowered it to the floor. He somehow dragged this bag through the security post on the first floor, which really consisted of one sleepy old bot and his assistant, who for some reason constantly ran to the restroom.
– Indeed, Indest, calm down. Even Vish hasn’t contacted us yet.
– Or maybe it’s because someone just didn’t turn on the sound?
Everyone shuddered. The voice came from the radio receiver standing on the sofa next to them.
Flutter carefully moved towards the receiver.
– Vish, you? But how?
It was impossible not to notice notes of pride and self-satisfaction in Vish’s voice.
– One sorcerer promised to teach me this magic long ago. Turn on the volume on walkie-talkies. I hope they’re at least portable?
Everyone flipped a switch behind their ear. The radio receiver went silent, but now Vish’s voice was heard in the walkie-talkies.
– Everything is assembled?
Indest got himself some water from the cooler and drank it in one gulp.
– No, the Hierarch is stuck somewhere.
It was at this moment that the out of breath Hierarch appeared from around the corner, noticing the trio, he hurried towards her.
– Forgive me, I… it happened, in general, well, there was some old lady at the crossing, translate, translate, well, what should I do, I translated.
The hierarch wiped the sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief, then put the handkerchief in the pocket of his blue tuxedo and looked around at those present. Indest glanced at the Hierarch incredulously.
— It took you almost twenty minutes to get the grandmother across the road? Are you serious? Did you transfer her through a hot spot??
– Not at all. The thing is, she didn’t fall behind. I had to accompany her to the clinic..
Linux grinned.
– This changes things radically.
Flutter looked at the newcomer skeptically.
– And the lipstick on your cheek, it was your grandmother who thanked you so much?
“Well… uh… well…” The Hierarch hastily began to wipe off his lipstick.
– Maybe we can get down to business, m? – Vish snorted displeasedly. He leaned back in his chair and began stirring his coffee.
– OK. Need to go to the restroom. There Piro left us the equipment. How should we go, Vish?
Vish is thoughtful. Then, putting the cup on the table, he muttered something.
– Hmm… yeah, here’s your floor, fourth. Weapons on your floor. Target on the twenty-first..
— We don’t need to talk about the goal, Vish. At least not now, focus.
– Okay, okay. Walk in pairs through the side offices, go to the cooler, and there are cleaning staff nearby. Pretend to be ordinary office workers if they see you and start questioning you, or make up something.
Flutter and the Hierarch passed calmly, it seemed no one even paid attention to them. They went into the restroom and began to wait for another couple there.
Indest and Linux also calmly walked to the cooler, without making a fuss. Some people, no, no, yes, looked at the Linux bag, but still no one saw anything special in it. The two had almost reached the restroom when Linuxoid suddenly tripped over a box standing on the floor and fell to the floor. The bag also did not escape the fall and fell with a powerful crash after its owner. There was clearly something heavy and, it seemed, metal in it.
Vish perked up and, seeing what was happening, cursed.
– Someone is coming to you! Someone was attracted by the noise! Indest, quickly, quickly leave!
A young man of about 24, formally dressed, with a diplomat, approached them from the elevator. Perhaps he had a meeting.
– Um, sorry? What’s going on here?
Linux, stretched out on the floor, quickly looked at Indest, showing him with his eyes to say something.
– Well… uh… So I’m asking the same question! – leaning over him, he rolled his eyes, as if telling him to get out on his own. Linux hastily stood up and picked up his bag from the floor.
– Forgive me for my carelessness, I tripped… I… I’m a plumber. Over the course of several days, many complaints were received from here about dirty pipes and blockages..
– Yes, yes, I heard one of our people call yesterday. – Indest nodded his head happily.
A savory slap was heard on the radio. Vish slapped his forehead with his palm.
– Oh my God, what a plumber, what kind of circus have you staged?? – Vish grumbled in a whisper.
The young man seemed satisfied with Linux’s answer and was about to leave, but suddenly turned to the fallen man again.
– Sorry, but… Your uniform?
An unpleasant chill ran down Linux’s spine.
– Well… I’m afraid there’s no form left! Too many calls, everything’s sorted out!
– Yes, yes, I heard that somewhere in the area of the forum, many pipes burst! Although I wonder why this would be..
Linux turned to Indest.
— Don’t take me to clogged objects?
– Of course, of course – Indest shook the stranger’s hand, then Linux did the same, and both left. Now they have calmly reached the harvesting.
– You won’t believe it..
Flutter rolled his eyes.
– You don’t have to tell me. We’ve heard it all. Plumber, bljad.
– We have a big blockage here, ha ha ha!
The hierarch pulled out a bag with weapons from a booth on which hung a “out of service” sign. After rummaging through the bag, everyone took what they liked best, although there wasn’t much choice. P90, three Glocks and a rapid fire shotgun. The submachine gun and one of the Glocks went to Linux, Flutter and Indest each took a pistol, and the Hierarch got a shotgun.
– Well, let’s get ready? And now..
Suddenly, Vish began to experience some interference and sounds, which made it seem like someone was snatching the microphone from his hands.
– WHERE ARE THE EXPLOSIVES?!?
– Cord, give me the microphone here!
Flutter raised his eyebrows questioningly.
– What the hell is Shnur doing there??
The sounds of fighting were heard again.
– LISTENING TO DISTURBED, EATING OATH COOKIES WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS AND MAKING SURE YOU DON’T MISTAKE ANYWHERE, IMBECILES!
The sounds of breaking dishes and obscene screams from Cord made it clear to the four that Vish hit him with his cup of coffee. Taking control of the microphone again, Vish sighed wearily.
– There are some changes here.
“I don’t like this,” Indest shook his head. – I don’t like sudden changes in plans.
— In general, the elevators will fail after a while. There will be a small power outage, prevention, not for long. Now you can still go up, but you will have to stomp down on foot.
Flat snorted displeasedly.
— Why are we learning about prevention only now??
– Because I only found out about it now. Hurry up. We have to make it before lunch. Otherwise, the owner of the office will be there before us.
___________
– Here is the office. Hurry up, put on your masks, let one stand by the elevator, the rest somehow get into the office and find what we need. Faster! I pulled everyone on this floor to the other end of the level.
The Hierarch was wearing a steel-colored mask, similar to the Death Eater masks, Linuxoid was wearing the famous dark blue gas mask helmet, Indest was wearing his red mask, and Flutter was wearing Fluttershy’s mask.
– It was impossible to find anything better? – Indest winced.
– PONY ARE FUCKING AWESOME, SHUT UP INCIE..
— Cord!
– BUT RAINBOW DASH IS STILL COOLER, BASTARDS!
Finally everyone got ready. The Hierarch remained waiting. Quickly taking out a circular saw, Linux began to carefully “open” the door.
— There’s a reinforced lock, you can either use a key or something like that.
Soon the trio got inside. The small but eye-catching black safe was not difficult to spot.
— Vish? – Flutter looked at the safe incredulously, “There’s definitely no trickery here.”? Vish? Vish?!
Vish didn’t answer. But you could clearly hear Shnur singing with his mouth full of cookies: “TENH PHTHOUHSNADH FHISHPH INH PHE AIRPH. ”
– Shit. – stated Indest.
– Okay, I’m drinking.
Linux walked up to the safe and began to open it.
*****
Same time.
Second floor.
*****
The twink owner of the office climbed the stairs and silently scolded the electricians, because of whom the elevators were still not working. Suddenly, he felt a vibration in his pocket where his cell phone was lying. When he took it out, he couldn’t believe his eyes. Then, quickly dialing a number, he began to wait for an answer. Some bastards broke into his safe. And these bastards will answer for it.
*****
Same time.
Twenty first floor.
*****
– Listen, there’s something beeping here..
Flutter walked up and looked closely at the safe. More precisely, to the sound source. Flat’s eyes widened. He trembled.
– Th-this is a camera! Camera built into the safe!
– Oh no…
Linux, meanwhile, was still able to open the safe door. It was empty. Nothing. There was absolutely nothing there.
– We… were deceived?
The Hierarch appeared in the doorway.
– …or someone knew that we would come here.
Shnur’s voice came over the radio. Strangely calm.
– Guys. They came for you.
– Well..
— BUT THERE WILL BE A LOT OF EXPLOSIONS, BLOOD, AND EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST FUCKING AWESOME!
Indest took out the Glock.
– Let Piro start a fire, but it’s time for us to go.
The cord began to sniffle.
– Um, I was a little mistaken. They’re already here. If I understand all these smart cards correctly, then… they are on the 20th floor. This is… The one right below you, yes?
There was a crash. Smoke gradually filled the corridor..
___________
– 30 fucking floors! – Flat exclaimed, climbing the stairs and firing back at the catching bots, who were only a couple of flights behind.
Tired Indest became thoughtful, continuing to run.
— It would be better if we did everything quietly, as Vish advised us.
Linux fired a burst from his P90 at the bots, and then threw the submachine gun at them. He’s out of ammo. The hierarch, who was silent the whole way, had already shot everything long ago, and now he was only helping Linuch, carrying his bag.
“Oh yes, Vish, you’re certainly a good coordinator and all that,” Linux took out a Glock and continued shooting as he walked. – But what you didn’t tell us about that camera in his office..
– And all because you stupidly did not respond to our messages and signals. – continued Flat.
Vish shrugged.
– Can’t I just leave for tea?? – the coordinator took a sip from his cup. – And by the way, I still don’t understand why the hell you ran up to the roof, and not down, back to the first floor.
Flat cursed in irritation and almost tripped.
– Because we were surrounded and the passage down was blocked. – He kicked the door to the roof, thereby opening it.
When everyone got out onto the roof, Linux unzipped his bag and pulled out a welding machine. Pressing the door tightly, he began to weld it shut. Indest chuckled.
– So that’s why you dragged her.
Linux grinned and continued welding the door. The hierarch, breathing heavily, sat down and exhaled.
— I never asked for this.
– You’re not alone. – Flat examined the houses around the thirty-story building. -Where do we go now?? Jump or what?? Vish?
Vish is thoughtful. His head started hurting again.
— You didn’t take the parachutes?
Indest adjusted his mask.
– I always carry it with me.
– Clear. Sprague won’t help you either. How long can you stay on the roof?? As far as I remember, Ulter can drive more than just cars..
Linux, having finished welding, put the device back into the bag.
– It would be a good plan if we had a bag of cartridges. And where the hell will Ulther get a helicopter??
The Hierarch raised his head.
– I heard something. Some kind of crackling noise or something else..
Vish sighed.
– Looks like you’ll have to jump after all..
Indest was about to ask the question “Why?”, but didn’t have time. He, like everyone else, heard a sound that could not be confused with anything. The sound of helicopter blades rotating.
A combat helicopter, hung with all sorts of heavy weapons, circled over the roof of a skyscraper. Clearly not with good intentions.
– Boss Helicopter? – Linux let out a nervous chuckle.
There was nowhere to escape from the roof. Only down, towards the asphalt and death, or stand and wait until the “pinwheel” incinerates you with its arsenal.
Everyone scattered, and the flying arsenal was already ready to fire. Suddenly something whistled in the air. Explosion. Flash. Crash attack helicopter. While falling, he touched the wall of a thirty-story building, thereby breaking it and, spinning in the air, fell down.
Indest looked around the nearby buildings. On the roof of one of the residential buildings there was a man with an RPG on his shoulder. He waved his hand and went somewhere.
The joyful cry of Cord was heard over the radio: “EXPLOSIONS,” as well as Vish’s laughter.
– Lithium..
– On time, I told him to get his ass up and move it to the roof, yeah? – Vish was clearly pleased.
– Yeah… Yes… – Flat was shocked and quite scared.
Vish, meanwhile, was already analyzing the broken wall and the twenty-eighth floor of the building, on which it was made by a falling helicopter.
– If any of you took something like a cable with you, you can try to go down it a couple of floors below, through this hole. There are offices there. Everyone was evacuated, but there seemed to be no bots. Maybe a couple or three, but they definitely aren’t waiting for you there. At the end of the corridor there is a service elevator, it works. If you get there, consider that the gods favor you. They won’t get you anymore.
Linux opened the bag again and took out the cable.
– As you can see, everything was useful, it was not in vain that we dragged it.
While finishing his sentence, he had already finished with the cable. Having found a reliable support, Linuxoid tied one end there and threw the other down. The length of the cable was just enough for two floors.
– Let’s go down.
___________
Two bots stood at the service elevator and pressed the call button in vain. They were clearly not in the mood to fight some terrorist robbers, as the twink described them to them, which caused a quick response.
– Listen, Steve, stop whining. They’re not going anywhere from the roof. And they won’t sit there for long. I heard we called a combat helicopter, what does that mean?? That’s right – they’re khan.
Jet poked the elevator call button 3 times in a row.
– Damn elevator, come on, where is it??
Suddenly, somewhere to the right, across several offices, a roar was heard. Apparently from the wall. Steve peered out curiously from behind the wall and peered at the end of the corridor. Returning to his partner, the bot looked very concerned.
– Um… Jet? Looks like your helicopter crashed.
Jet licked his lips and shrugged, looking at the floor.
– Well… they still can’t get off the roof. And so do we? We’ll be going down soon. Unless of course this damn elevator arrives.
Voices and footsteps were heard from the side of the broken wall.
– Jeeeeeeeee..
Four bloggers came around the corner. One of them, whom Steve remembered very well, was playing with a circular saw.
– Why did you and I go to work in rapid response?.
The bots dropped their weapons and raised their hands. The elevator doors opened behind us with a ding. It was clearly visible on Jet’s face what he wanted to say now.
___________
Messi was waiting for the four in the van, as agreed. When the car started moving, Flutter was the first to speak.
“As I understand it, this nice person with a bag on his head,” Flat pointed to a passed-out man sitting in the corner, “And there is our client.”?
Messi’s voice came from the driver’s seat.
– Yes, he is. Where to now?
Everyone is thinking.
– Closest to me. Let’s interrogate the “client” in the garage. – said the Hierarch and took out a cigarette.
– Well, well! Don’t smoke in the cabin. Just be patient.
The hierarch sighed, but put away the cigarette. I really didn’t have to wait long. Five minutes – and the van had already arrived at the Hierarch’s house.
— You didn’t tell me that you have a private house. – Indest chuckled.
– Probably forgot. – the Hierarch said with a sly smile and opened the garage. It was empty. The owner explained this by saying that his car was being repaired. Be that as it may, it was even more convenient. The van was left in the garage, as was the prisoner. Only the last one was tied to a chair and the bag was removed from his head.
– Well, who will shake everything out of him?? – Flat noticed that the “client” was stirring.
– I can. – Messi answered briefly.
Indest took off his mask, wiped the sweat from his forehead and leaned against the wall.
– There was something on him?
Messi started to remember.
– Well… the watch, I checked it – nothing; a wallet, but it only contains money; telephone. Here’s the problem with the last one. Password protected. I already removed the memory card and checked – nothing. Either what we need is in the phone’s memory, or he managed to hide the information from the safe somewhere.
The prisoner opened his eyes, looked around and twitched, trying to break the ropes.
-Who are you?? What do you need from me?! Untie me quickly!
Messi smiled at the captive and turned to Indest.
– Listen, brother, tell me who we are?
Indest spread his hands exaggeratedly.
– You see, we don’t know. And you’re better off not knowing.
– What. Fuck you! Let me go! I didn’t do anything!
Messi frowned.
– But for something like this, twink, it’s not a shame to beat him up.
The blogger swung, having first stretched his hands, and hit the prisoner in the face. Something crunched. Apparently the nose.
– What do you want from me?? What do you need?
Messi pretended to think.
– Let me think. Maybe first you can tell me whose twink you are? Who do you work for?
– I won’t tell you anything!
Messi took out the MP-412 from his belt and put it to the prisoner’s temple.
– And so?
The “client” winced in disgust.
-You won’t kill me.
Messi closed his eyes and sighed.
– Well, yes. Not yet.
With a quick movement, removing the safety catch, the blogger shot the twink in the right leg. The last one howled in pain.
– I won’t s-tell you!
Messi was about to shoot at the other leg, but the Hierarch stopped him.
– No need. He may not know. To be only somewhere at the bottom of the chain.
The shooter nodded.
– Fine. Password for your phone, twink?
The prisoner became worried.
– Password? My phone is not password protected and..
Messi did not hesitate to shoot the “client” in the other leg. He groaned.
– Well?
– Zero… Zero-One-Zero-Seven-A-F-J.
Linux tried to enter.
– Wrong.
Messi started to get angry.
– How so? It’s starting to seem to me that the fact that you are alive,” Messi painfully poked the captive in the chest with his finger, “is also wrong.
— Change “J” to eight! Everything will work!
Linux tried again.
— It worked, but then it asks you to insert some kind of removable media with the program..
The prisoner broke into a smile.
– But this little thing, you creatures, you definitely won’t get it, you won’t find it.
Messi, without making a sound, raised his pistol and fired once. Straight to the head. The wall behind the twink is splattered with blood. The hierarch was a little upset.
– Now we have to wash the wall..
Indest approached Linux.
– You can hack it?
Linux shook his head.
– Only with this medium will we get access. Can’t do without him.
Flutter chuckled.
– I think I know where this thing is.
He pulled out a small black object resembling a SIM card from his pocket.
— That idiot left it on the table. I just grabbed it just in case when we left his office.
Flutter handed the media to Linux, who immediately inserted it into the phone.
– So… it worked. Where is this information… Yeah! Here, I found it! Schedule of all streams for the next week. Places, dates, times.
Flat rubbed his neck.
– By the way… how are we going to interfere with the streams??
Linux winked at him.
– We will mute the broadcasts. I even know who can get the required number of jammers.
Messi, the first to understand who we were talking about, grinned.
– Oh yes, this sorcerer will get anything.
The hierarch, who was wiping the blood from the wall, looked back.
– So now?
Flutter took off the tie that was bothering him and looked around at the bloggers.
— Perhaps it’s time to stop streaming.
And in the background there are such pretentious numbers, letters, explosions and happy endings. Fluttershy became a cheerful and cool guy, Shnur stopped being an asshole (and was also transferred to Arkham Asylum under the name “Joker”), Linux came to what he had been striving for for the last year and a half, Indest overcame his sociopathic tendencies and also became happy with the new company, the Hierarch “transferred his grandmother across the street” more than once, after which he had “grandchildren”, Vish is not sick either, our contact is happy, good luck to him in everything, Messi found the loli of his dreams and so on. Everyone has achieved the goal they dreamed of achieving. But our realities are different, my friend. I never achieved what I was striving for, Shnur is an asshole, Vish is not yet fully happy, Messi doesn’t have a loli, Hierarch really translated the old lady, Indest couldn’t cope with what was tormenting him, but Flatt became better, and he also growls cutely :3 But there is another reason, it is shown in the text, fleetingly, but you can find the reason why not everything works out for some individuals. Still, good luck to everyone. © Linux. all lies and slander arara
I express my deepest gratitude to Linuxoid for the editorship, and to Andrey Polukeev for the wonderful poster.